Why do so many managers know how to talk, but not how to listen? How many meetings have you attended in which the person occupying the power seat is a disastrous communicator?

This is sometimes true even when they’re nominally ‘asking a question’.

The question is asked.

A nanosecond goes by…

…and the manager simply ploughs on.

What’s lost? A a precious chance to hear another viewpoint.  The more often a manager fills the silence with his or her own thoughts. The less likely they’ll hear a voice other than their own.

Next time you pose a question (especially if you are the leader of a group) STOP. Leave a pause. Breath.

Carers learn it. Coaches learn it. Journalists learn it.  It’s a simple, but magical, technique.

Don’t say another word until the person who as posed the question speaks. Stay quiet, even if it feels a little uncomfortable.

The more interesting your question, the longer it often takes for people to process and to respond. We live in a world where quiet pauses are often filled to avoid embarrassment (or, worse, where the question wasn’t really a question at all).

When exploring the minds of other people, silence is truly golden.